Purpose-filled christmas
Taking advantage of one of the most powerful tools in our parent toolbox - tradition. How to plan our family traditions in such a way that our children encounter tangible expressions of grace that align with the true meaning of this season.
Hey Parents!
I hope this season finds you well, and excited for all the upcoming opportunities to celebrate Jesus with our children. First, I want to say a few quick things about traditions. We often think of tradition as an event that happens instead of the act of teaching, but I would argue that traditions are one of the best teaching tools in our parent toolbox. One of the best features of tradition is repetition— something done regularly, dependably, until it becomes a habit. The things that have the longest and deepest effect on our lives are the things we do every day. Children will often come to believe that whatever is repeated regularly has significance. So, I’m not just talking about holiday traditions here, but also daily ones— like family devotions, time in the word and prayer— all things that we as parents can make repetitious, and therefore traditions, in our home.
Take a look at these two Deuteronomy passages below, as they lay out God’s command to teach the next generation…
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God…. when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to fear me as long as they live on the earth, and that they may teach them to their children.
Deuteronomy 4:9-10
You shall teach [God’s words] to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Deuteronomy 11:19
We can use not only our everyday traditions, but also, to use a term coined by Noel Piper, our “especially traditions” (
As we head into a season of “especially traditions”, may we use them to teach and train up the next generation, bringing our kids into the beautiful and grand story of God.
Below you will find a handful of ideas on making this season an intentional time of teaching through your traditions.
Please keep in mind that it is not necessarily intended that you implement each and every one of these ideas, but that you sift through and find activities or resources that work well for you and your family.
Jesse Tree Advent
Celebrate St Nicholas Day - Dec 6th!
Many families include Santa in their Christmas celebrations (and that is OK!), and others keep him out altogether (that’s OK too!), but an alternative option still exists— a great teaching tool, I might add. We call it redeeming Santa. Instead of fully embracing or fully rejecting Santa, some have chosen to learn about and remember the real man, a devout Christian, who Santa came from— St. Nicholas. Nicholas was born in the third century, and sadly lost his parents at a very young age. He inherited a large amount of money after their death and spent the rest of his life using it to help those in need. He loved Jesus and gave gifts to the poor, often secretly, so that he couldn’t get the credit. In fact, it was because of St. Nick’s secret giving that stockings became a part of the Christmas season. The famous story goes that he tossed a coin bag through the open window of a family in need and it landed in a stocking hanging by the fire to dry. And now we have stockings and gold coins as part of our celebrations but often forget what they represent. What a great opportunity to learn about Christ’s love, and his focus on those in need, and turn it into a fun family adventure of blessing others. What celebrating St. Nicholas Day could look like:
- Read a book about St. Nicholas. My favorites are: Santa Are You For Real? By Harold Myra, The Story Of St. Nicholas By Cheryl Odden, The Legend of St. Nicholas By Dandi Mackall and Just Nicholas By Annie Kratzsch
- Watch the Veggies Tales rendition of the story: St. Nicholas- A Story of Christmas Giving
- Read and discuss as a family where the bible talks about taking care of and giving to those in need. Some suggestions would be: Matthew 25:31-46, Luke 12:33-34, Acts 20:35, Deuteronomy 15:11, 1 John 3:17 and James 2:14-17 (Not an exhaustive list).
- Read and discuss the heart of SECRET giving found in Matthew 6:1-4. Verses 3 and 4 say, “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
- Have the kids pick out small gifts for their siblings and secretly place them in their stockings the night before.
- Go “St Nicking”— This is my absolute favorite thing about our St. Nicholas day celebrations. As a family think of someone in your neighborhood, community, school, church, work place, etc. that has a need. Discuss the best way to meet that need and bless this family. Could be money, groceries for the week, toys for the kids, a gift card to a store, etc. As a family go out and secretly deliver this gift to the family in need. Have fun, be creative, include the kids! They will never forget this tradition!
Advent Wreath
Long ago Christians created the tradition of celebrating the four Sundays of Advent. Before I continue, it is helpful to know that the word advent means the arrival of a notable person, thing or event. The four Sundays preceding Christmas are the four Sundays of Advent (meaning you actually start on Nov 28th this year!). As families gather together to pray, read scripture, sing carols and prepare their hearts spiritually for celebrating the coming of Christ, a truly special excitement grows in the family.
How to make an Advent wreath:
- Arrange a wreath on a tabletop wherever it seems comfortable and mark that place as the family’s worship center. The circle of the wreath has no end which reminds us of the never-ending love of God.
- Make the wreath with evergreen branches, symbolic of everlasting life and the eternal nature of God. Around it place four large candles with a fifth in the middle that is even taller. Traditionally three of the candles are purple, 1 is pink and the taller candle is white and represents Christ.
- Follow along with the advent worship service guide (linked below), or any other advent guide that walks you through each candle on the four Sundays of Advent.
The link below will take you to a PDF file of the Family Advent Worship Service Guide (pictured above with the advent wreath) from Martha Zimmerman’s book Celebrating the Christian Year. The PDF is intended to be printed out, double sided, and folded down the middle to create a little book. It will not make sense if used digitally, as it is formatted to be a book.
I was also very impressed by this FREE printable from kidsenjoyingjesus.com. It walks you through how to make an Advent wreath and has a devotional and TONS of activities for each of the 5 candles. To see some of the material and to access the download follow the link below.
A Gift for Jesus
Another fun idea, similar to the secret St. Nicholas giving, is to raise money over the month of December, together, to “give to Jesus”. The heart behind this comes from Matthew 25:31-46, “whatever you do for the least of these you do for me”. So in other words, when we give gifts to those in need we are also giving a gift to Jesus. Read and explain this passage to the kids and on the first Sunday of Advent wrap an empty box and cut a slit in the top of it. All throughout the month put money in the box. The kids could earn the money through doing chores, or maybe if you see them being extra kind or stepping in to help, they get coins for the box. The kids could have some sort of bake sale etc. to earn money toward their gift for Jesus. Or maybe the kids want to take some of their personal savings and add it to the gift. However you decide to pool together money as a family, the heart behind the activity will speak volumes to your children. Then, on Christmas morning, pray over the box, dedicating it to Jesus. Open it, count it and discuss who you are going to bless with the money you have raised together!
Other Fun Ideas!
- Make a birthday cake for Jesus, sing to him and enjoy cake on Christmas Day!
- Hide Mary and Joseph around the house throughout the month of December starting far away from the manager scene and getting closer and closer as the birth of Jesus draws near. Christmas Eve have them arrive at the nativity scene. Christmas morning finally place Jesus in the manager.
- Celebrate the 12 days of Christmas (which are the 12 days following Christmas!) concluding with Epiphany on January 6th. Epiphany is the day that celebrates the arrival of the wise men (In reality, they probably arrived years later). Have your wise men arrive at the nativity scene this day (after traveling through the house for the 12 previous days, of course!). Have a special meal, bake a treasure chest cake, read Matthew 2:1-11 and celebrate the King of Kings!
- To connect Jesus’ birth to the cross, some families hang a nail on the tree as an ornament. Another great idea is to strip off the branches of the tree and save the trunk to be made into a cross for Holy Week and Easter celebrations (We use ours for our resurrection countdown ornaments).
May our traditions and celebrations this season point to our Savior and King— allowing our hearts and the hearts of our children to be drawn into the beauty of the gospel!
Good parenting, which does what God intends it to do, begins with this radical and humbling recognition that our children don't actually belong to us. Rather, every child in every home, everywhere on the globe, belongs to the One, who created him or her. Children are God's possession (see Ps. 127:3) for his purpose. That means that his plan for parents is that we would be his agents in the lives of these ones that have been formed into his image and entrusted to our care.